Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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