She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
