Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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