I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
