So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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