If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
