This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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