If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
