This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
