i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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