Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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