What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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