Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
