Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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