i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
