I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
