I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
