I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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