Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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