And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
