He is such a slut. More and more my type.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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