i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
