At least make sure they are 18
Why
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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