could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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