Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
