You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
