I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dick very happy bro
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
