just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
