I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
if only i could text you this smell
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You've changed since you got that strap on
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
