BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
