Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
