Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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