i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
