Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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