Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
