i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
