tell your sister to shave her snatch
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
