Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
