I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I would ride that face into the sunset
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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