i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
