They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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