How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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