her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
