I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
