you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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