Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
