So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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