i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
