she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
