Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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