There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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